As this was my last day in Tasmania and my only full day in Hobart, I had a rough idea of all the things I wanted to see. I figured I’d nab some breakfast, spend the morning at The Museum of Old and New Art (MONA), maybe spend the afternoon at the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery, and then find a really good dinner.
Well, I woke up… kind of. I had a headache. Well, I had an all-body ache. And I was so tired. I couldn’t get the gumption to get up and find breakfast. My body had hit a wall. I continued to bargain with my body: “I’ll rest for another hour, then I’ll still have a couple hours at MONA if I get a quick cafe breakfast.” “I’ll nap for another hour. Maybe I’ll just go to MONA today.” “MONA closes at 5pm. I could still get maybe three hours there.”
I finally, grumpily, crawled out of bed and into the bright sunshine.
MONA was only about 10 minutes away by car. I parked the car by the museum’s vineyards (!), then proceeded to walk up to the museum complex. The sidewalk to the museum had a slight upward angle, and it was such a chore for my body to deal with that I contemplated giving up and going back to the hotel. But I figured I might only need some food at this point, and the museum had restaurants, so I soldiered on.
The MONA complex is confusing if you don’t know what to expect. (I didn’t.) MONA is apparently not just a museum. The grounds have restaurants, food vendors, a modern art playground, an outdoor music stage, a vast lawn overlooking the harbor, a sculpture park, a ferry across the harbor, luxury rental cabins (!), and not enough signs to figure out where I should go. I wound up by the outdoor food vendors and stalled out.
I figured food would probably help. Thus, I found an outdoor food vendor, which had an interesting menu and wood-fired grills for cooking meat. I ordered a camel burger. Due to a failure of the digital “come back and get your food” thingie, I didn’t get my burger for about 20 minutes. By that point, I had very little ability to deal with anything. However, once I did get my burger, it was REALLY REALLY GOOD.
I quickly regained enough fortitude to deal with the rest of my afternoon. I found that the museum has a very well-designed app, which finally led me to the entrance. I soon realized where part of my confusion came from: while there are many larger buildings on site, the museum itself is a small, mirrored building nested inconspicuously down a hill. I soon learned that this was also deceptive, as almost all the museum is underground.
MONA is an art museum experience unlike any other I’ve seen. It houses modern art next to classical art next to ancient artifacts. None of the items have placards with information about the pieces; you use the app to find out information if you want it. (The app uses location settings to find out where you are so it can find the art you are looking at, and it also contains other interactive features.) The galleries are dramatically lit and have walls that are not your traditional white background. Many galleries set the individual art pieces inside a larger art installation. Much of the art is installation art and/or interactive. The galleries are linked by seemingly random stairways and tunnels. The museum itself is an immersive experience.
For as dark and brooding as these photos look, the museum also has a sense of irreverence. For instance, the app has a button labeled “ART WANK” with an icon of a penis, which brings up deeper commentary and descriptions of each piece.
My issues earlier in the day meant I only had about two hours to explore the museum, which was absolutely not enough time. Every corner led to a strange new space. There was no linear relationship between areas of the museum, so I literally and figuratively lost myself inside. And so much of this stuff was installation art, which is absolutely my jam.
And like I said, a lot of the art was also irreverent and playful.
My favorite part, aside from some Jenny Holzer pieces that I’d never seen before, was a feature of the museum itself. In one string of galleries, there were LED light boards that announced “The [name] Gallery”, like you see in normal art museums where rich people have donated a wing. If you were in one of these rooms, the museum app would pop up this screen:
Holy hannah, this is brilliant. This comments on the ridiculous monied elitism of the fine art world AND it’s fun AND it raises money for the museum. The dollar amount goes up as the day goes on and other visitors bid up the price.
I couldn’t resist.
Back when I first bought my flights to Tasmania, the few folks I knew who had visited the island before all said, “Go to MONA!” Every single person said that. Now I know why, and now I want to return to Tasmania even more than I previously did. And if I ever hear of another person who will be visiting Tasmania, I will immediately say, “Go to MONA!”
After the museum closed, I had a rest back at my hotel. I was exhausted again, and it was only 6pm. Then suddenly it was 8pm, and I needed to find food. I summoned the energy to research the restaurants in the area again, and I found a place that was open later and also had an interesting menu. I then summoned even more energy to leave the hotel room and drive all of two blocks to the restaurant.
Well, that restaurant was stuffed with people, as well as beset by a small film crew. The harried waitress informed me that she didn’t have any more space, even for just one person. I thanked her and returned to my car.
I no longer had any energy left, so I just said fuck it and went back to last night’s excellent restaurant, Waggon. The staff welcomed me back and served me some astonishingly good gnocchi.
After I meticulously abolished the plate of gnocchi, the staff let me linger and nurse a beer until everyone went home. (Hobart seems to close up around 10pm, even on weekends.) When I checked out, my waiter wished me well for my trip home.
I am now back at the hotel, wrapping up my writing and packing up for the morning. I could easily spend another week in Tasmania, but I am also exhausted and will appreciate being at home, no matter how cold it is in Minnesota.
