Adam Lampire wears eyeliner and bites folks who didn't vote for him on American Idol. [sassytater]
An Allakhazampire likes WoW. [Ms_Goose]
An anagrampire is all mixed up. [chebutykin]
An anagrampire needs to take a marriage nap. [majcher]
An ashrampire is at peace with himself. [chebutykin]
A bampire creeps in your kitchen in the middle of the night and seasons your pot roast. [matt_nelson]
A campire is only appreciated by niche audiences. [ClackyJ]
A campire makes money on the Internet by shedding clothes in front of their webcam. [chebutykin]
I'm not a huge fan of Campire Vampire Beethovenpire. [MylesNye]
Don't be fooled, that candygrampire is actually a LANDSHARK! [tomlommel]
A champire is being really brave even though he has a terminal blood disease. [benjotron]
We are the champires, my friend, and we will keep biting to the end. [ironic1]
A champpire hangs out at sports bars. [chebutykin]
A clampire is really good at holding things together. [chebutykin]
A crampire is aquatic. It strikes you if you swim less than an hour after eating. [kevinthom]
A crampire keeps you from winning the big race. [bobzatch]
A crampire sometimes hangs out with the tampire. [tbinkc]
The crampire often goes swimming after sucking victims dry. (The myth of the crampire is the most diluted.) [studio8]
The crampire didn't know how to suck your blood until he pulled an all-dayer, even though he had all semester. [jillybee72]
A dampire bites you but then prevents any of the blood from spilling out. [jillybee72]
I thought up diaphragmpire, but I don't really want to speculate on what it does. [Kelvin_Hatle]
The DJ Jazzy Jampire regrets not killing Will Smith when he had the chance. [tomlommel]
Frampire comes alive! [cwethern]
A gampire wears a cloak half the normal length in order to show off their sexy legs. [matt_nelson]
A glampire is very glittery, and loves David Bowie. [chebutykin]
1000 grampires = 1 kilogrampire [chebutykin]
A grampire leaves his teeth in you when he bites you, but you also get 50 cents and a Werther's Original. [ericfell]
Do you think a grampire needs special dentures? [lornadoone]
Don't forget the 21-Grampire, that only sucks out your soul. [fivemanjob]
Grampire and Grandma love the color red. [jerilyn65]
The grampire is one-thousandth as likely to bite you as the kilogrampire. [sirilyan]
A hampire either only bites pigs or is from the Hamptons, I have my interns looking into it. [jillybee72]
Are you sure a hampire doesn't hold your dirty clothes? [wiwwa]
Aren't hampires those the undead who have to run on a little wheel until the sun goes down? [julieblaha]
The Hoolihanpire bites with hot lips. [micahy]
Crosses do not work on the Islampire. [majcher]
The Jack-and-Dianepires are bitin' the best that they can. (clap clap) [micahy]
A jampire really likes to get down. [Ms_Goose]
The Jampire lures you in with his Def Comedy before biting you. [cwethern]
Jean Claude Van Dampires kick the blood right out of your neck. [cwethern]
A ka-baampire improvises comic books on stage at Bryant Lake Bowl. [chebutykin]
1000 grampires = 1 kilogrampire [chebutykin]
The grampire is one-thousandth as likely to bite you as the kilogrampire. [sirilyan]
The next sequel to Revenge of the Nerds will feature lambda-lambda-lampires. [chebutykin]
A lambpire tastes really good on pita bread with tzaziki sauce. [chebutykin]
A lampire is a vampire who's only turned on at night. [noidd]
The Senator Lindsey Grahampire bites you on behalf of vampires from the great state of South Carolina. [jillybee79]
Also, check in for Breast Cancer Awareness with your mammogrampire! [OnanRulz]
A m'ampire only bites older women, and is very polite about it. [jillybee73]
A mapire sucks you dry, then gives you detailed driving directions. [MikeRylander]
You've started a meme, you're a mempire! [bobzatch]
Oscillampires make your pants vibrate until you finally give in and join them, apparently. [curyusgrg]
Pampires spray your neck with non-stick coating. [mauditmo]
Phi Slamma Jampires live off of VHS tapes of early 80s era University of Houston basketball games. [jose602]
A prampire sneaks up on you in a baby buggy. [jillybee74]
Of course, a prampire allows you to transport little british baby vampires during their long day naps. [matt_nelson]
Remember that band ramjampire? their big hit was 'black bitey' zing! [johnsonbecky]
A RAMpire opens up 25 tabs in Firefox when you're not looking. [jose602]
A Sam-I-ampire would not bite you on a train. [micahy]
A scampire is often cast in movies by Hollywood execs to be "endearing", but they're usually just annoying. [chebutykin]
A scampire makes you think that giving him your blood was your idea and you're going to make millions. [fivemanjob]
A scampire tricks you into buying the Brooklyn Bridge. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Also? It doesn't really make you immortal) [Ms_Goose]
A shampire is really not a vampire. [jillybee75]
The shampire is only $19.95 for four if you order in the next 30 minutes. Sham-PIRE! [arclight]
A Shazampire would be named something else if it hadn't been sued by Marvel Comics. [chebutykin]
Siampires protested the name change to Thailandpires. Don't blame 'em. [mauditmo]
The slampire sucks the life out of you with its turgid, urban poetry. [cwethern]
Spampire. Fattest vampire ever. [braillewhale]
Don't open your mailbox. There might be a stampire. [jillybee78]
Did you catch Supertrampire on tour? [OnanRulz]
A crampire sometimes hangs out with the tampire. [tbinkc]
A tampire is made by Playtex and I'm not going to say anymore about it. [jillybee76]
The telegrampire is having trouble figuring out the internet. [johnsonbecky]
Siampires protested the name change to Thailandpires. Don't blame 'em. [mauditmo]
A trampire takes out a nicer-looking lady vampire for spaghetti and violin music. [jillybee72]
A trampire will bite anybody. [lornadoone]
Little known fact: after he died, Chaplin became a trampire. [chebutykin]
A vampire will play the same two measures while waiting for you to start your song. [TheMadjai]
Vampsquires are seemingly loyal companions that bite you when you're not looking. [ironic1]
America is embarrassed by its Viet Nampire. [MylesNye]
The webcampire stalks you on the internet, but only at night. (I thought you could watch the webcampire bite people for money!) [cwethern]
Whambamtymaampire [RyanMcArdle]
A Whampire wants you to wake him up before you go go. [jillybee77]
Yampires are bright orange, high in beta carotene, and suck the fluff out of unsuspecting marshmallows. [DaveAwl]
You usually only see yampires at Thanksgiving dinner. [chebutykin]
Yosemite Sampire sucks blood through a great big mustache. [mauditmo]
